The Ocean Sent Us 1,121 New Neighbors, and We Couldn't Be Happier
The Ocean Census reports the largest single-season haul of newly named marine life in history — and Stars Hollow officially approves of anything new and wonderful.
In a development the Gazette can only describe as delightful, the sea has introduced itself properly. The Ocean Census wrapped its first phase with a fifty-four percent jump in annual species identifications — more than a thousand new corals, sponges, and sea cucumbers, each one with a name and a place in the family tree of the world.
Nobody in town has met a sea cucumber yet, but the general sentiment at Luke's Diner this morning was that a thousand new neighbors is a thousand more reasons to be glad the world is still full of surprises. "It's like when the troubadour shows up unannounced," one regular observed. "You didn't know you needed it, and then you can't imagine the day without it."
Scientists describe roughly sixteen thousand new species every year — about forty-four a day — which means the Gazette could run a new-animal page every single morning and never repeat ourselves. We consider this a solemn promise and a civic duty.
The paper's own position, filed under "Things Going Right": the universe is still inventing itself, and we are simply taking notes. More tomorrow. The good news keeps coming.